I have officially transitioned into the professional tourist position allocated me as wife of an American working in London. Perhaps “tourist” is too strong a word. I am not running around all day taking pictures of Buckingham palace and trying to touch the fuzzy, tall hats of the guards. (Although trying to touch their hats does sound fun, and we did go to Buckingham palace in the rain two days ago – more on that tomorrow.)
I would say that this blog is about the adventures of a London resident, except that “resident” implies a certain comfort level and ease, which – clearly – I have yet to attain. So here I am – a tourist without the double-decker tours – and here I will blog. My ultimate goal is to compile a list of useful information/anecdotes for other Americans moving to London, particularly wives. But for now, I’m content to describe to you (and perhaps whine to you a tad too) about life in London as an American without a work visa… aka, me, the professional un-tourist.
We’ve been here a week, and I’ve noticed so much that I could write pages and pages of disjointed stories and comments about every little thing we’ve done and experienced since landing in Heathrow last Tuesday morning after a red-eye flight from Boston. (Complete, yes, with screaming toddler, very uncomfortable coach seat, and fully booked plane… goodbye stealing-a-vacant-row-to-lie-down-and-actually-get-some-rest plans.)
So as much as I want to verbal diarrhea all over this page with every. single. inspiring thought I’ve had since touch-down (loads of them, I assure you), instead I am assigning my entries themes to add a bit of cohesion to my life, and my blog.
Without further ado, I give you a topic that I am sure I will return to weekly, if not bi- or tri-weekly:
THEY DO NOT SPEAK ENGLISH IN ENGLAND
Let me elaborate.
Chris’ office is near the tube (aka subway) stop called Borough. It is located in the council area (aka county) of Southwark. So right off the bat, without pronouncing anything, we have two stumble-blocks: tube and council. That’s fine, I can deal with different monikers for everyday nouns. Fine. Easy enough.
Tube = subway. Council = county.
But WHOAAAH. Wait. A. Second. How did you, kind British person announcing the tube stops, just pronounce that word??!! Yes, that’s right, you DID just say:
“BURRAH.”
I still have a hard time wrapping my phonetically-challenged head around that one. Burrah? Really?
Apparently if you pronounce Borough the right (duh, American) way, you’re really saying “burrow” – like the kind that dirt-digging creatures live in.
This complete breakdown in communication was rather embarrassing because for several days on end we were telling people Chris worked in an area and near a tube stop they had never heard of. But being their polite, un-intrustive, and generally disinterested selves, no Brit even questioned us! Not a single, “Hmmm, where’s that?” or “I’ve never heard of that stop” or anything.
So that’s the tube stop, now on to the general council area of Southwark. It’s pronounced like Suffolk – and no, there is no discernible difference between how the Brits pronounce the two. So if you say “South – Wark” – like a normal English-speaking person you will not be understood. BUT you won’t know you’re making a mistake, because the Brits are too polite to tell you so, and they just will think you’re a crazy person.
So friends and family when you come visit us – it is really important that you remember:
Borough = Burrow
and
Southwark = Suffolk.
Confused yet? Wait till you ask for an arugula salad! Then they’ll really know you’ve gone off your rocker.
Now. After that crazy tirade against the inability of the English people to speak English, I would like to say that I absolutely LOVE living in London so far! It is perhaps the most beautiful city I have ever visited, let alone lived in, and incidences like the ones described above humor me to no end (in a good way!)
Tomorrow I will move on to a description of the weather. Can you guess what it’s doing here now? Can you just? I’ll give you a hint… it’s been this way everyday, and it starts with a C- and ends with a -loudy. At least my dermatologist will be happy :)
No comments:
Post a Comment